Do you have a dog-shaped shadow? You know, a dog that follows you all over the house, into the bathroom, so close that you trip over him when you turn around?
Some people think it’s cute. I hope that I can change their minds.
Sometimes your dog follows you because you’re being silly and he wants to play. Sometimes he follows you because you have his favorite toy or snack. Sometimes he follows you because he is trying to communicate something to you: I’m hungry, I have to go potty, I’m bored, I don’t feel comfortable being alone.
And it’s that last one that is the problem we need to address.
If your dog has an intense need to be with you, or if he gets upset when you leave him, you have a grade A clinger. And that is not something we want. Sometimes he can become visibly upset by barking, whining, pawing at the door, panting, pacing. Whatever it looks for your unique dog, we call it anxiety, and anxiety is a mental state that is not healthy for anyone to be in. And it’s not something that will go away on its own.
We need our dogs to be OK with being alone. We need them to relax while we go to work. We need to eat dinner without sad puppy eyes asking for food. We need to go to the bathroom alone. And if you can’t do that without your dog getting into a state of frustration or panic, then your life becomes incredibly small and limited.
So let’s talk about how to build your dog’s confidence and ability to be more independent.
- Crate training.
- The place command.
- Feed your dog in the crate.
- Don’t let your dog sleep in bed with you.
- Leave the house without your dog.
- Close the bathroom door.
- Learn how to tell your dog “no”.
They seem like little things, but these are incredibly powerful boundaries that you can set with your dog. Setting clear boundaries tells your dog exactly how to behave in a way that he can understand. Will he like it at first? No! Nobody likes change. And nobody likes when you tell them that they can’t cling to you when it’s worked in the past. Change takes time, but if you’re consistent with it, your dog will learn to trust you even when it’s a little uncomfortable.
If you want to get rid of that dog-shaped shadow, you need to give him healthier coping techniques.