We’re so excited to share this moment with our owner and head trainer, Allison Stoffel. Take a peek and learn a little more about your trainer who’s only ever a phone call away 🙂

A lot of times I hear from people that their dog isn’t social, so there must be something wrong with them, right? They didn’t socialize them young enough, they didn’t train enough, they didn’t try hard enough, they didn’t… The list could go on and on and on. Just because your dog isn’t social doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with either of you.

Dogs that don’t like other dogs are perfectly normal. We live in a society where people like dog parks and they like having a dog be the life of the party. So we feel bad when we can’t join in on those things. But in reality, that doesn’t truly represent animal behavior. Dogs usually feel most comfortable when they’re with their own group, the people and dogs that they spend most of their time with. There’s structure, there’s routine, there’s accountability, there’s someone that they know how to play with, and someone that they can trust to keep them safe when things get uncomfortable. The truly social dogs that can get along with anyone and everyone are not the norm, they are the exception.

So when I hear people say their dog isn’t social, with worry in their voice, we tend to have this conversation:

Me: “That’s perfectly fine. Your dog doesn’t have to like everyone.”

And they respond with, “Are you sure? All of my friends’ dogs like each other, but he gets annoyed when they try to play with him.”

Me: “Yes, I’m sure. It’s no different than you not wanting to be best buddies with every person you pass on the street. His personality just doesn’t like playing with other dogs, and that’s OK.”

Them: “Oh my gosh. This is such a relief. I thought there was something wrong with us.”

And that, my friends, is the problem. There’s nothing wrong with you, and there’s nothing wrong with your dog. Stop holding yourselves to unrealistic standards and start enjoying the unique dog in front of you.

What I would much rather see is a dog that is confident in social situations, but that can relax and remain neutral in the presence of other dogs. I don’t want your dog to get overly excited when it sees other dogs, pulling on its leash to go say hi to everyone else, forgetting that you’re even there. What’s better than having the dog that’s the life of the party? Having the dog that can be around other people and other dogs, but knows how to stay calm and relaxed. Because THAT is the dog that you are going to be able to take everywhere with confidence.

There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with your dog. You just need to shift your expectations.

Dogs are incredibly smart, and once we show them how to do something (and we practice and reward and practice and reward and…), they will be able to reliably perform that command. In that situation that you practiced in.

You see, dogs aren’t great at generalizing information. This means that what they learn in one place (ie the kitchen) doesn’t transfer over well if you ask them to perform that same command in another place (the yard). If I practice all of my commands in the kitchen, and my dog can sit, down, roll over, shake, and spin without hesitation every time, that’s awesome. But unless we also practice those skills in the living room, on cement, at the busy park, in the middle of a hardware store, on wet grass, your dog will likely struggle when you actually need them to perform the command. You just have a good kitchen dog.

We need to take the time to really help our dogs generalize this new information by practicing. And practice a lot. The time that it takes your dog to perform the command in a new situation will be so much shorter than when you first taught it. She already knows the command, we’re just reminding her that she can now do it in new places. And the second time will be even faster. Until eventually, your dog will say “Alright lady! We’ve practiced this hundreds of times in so many places, I know exactly what you want, and I can do it anywhere!” That’s when you no longer have a good kitchen dog, and you have a dog that you can conquer the world with.

Recall. It could save your dog’s life someday, so practice it!

We practice inside in low distraction-environments first to make sure the dog really understands what we’re asking of them. Here, Willow is practicing recall while we’re out of sight using the e-collar to help her. We use the pressure of the e-collar essentially as a game of hot-or-cold. As she gets closer, the stimulus from the e-collar lessens. If she gets farther away, the stimulus increases. This helps her understand exactly what we expect of her, and gives her the power to turn it off by finding her target (me). We do lots of repetitions to make sure she really understands this game. Did we mention that we’re on really low levels on the e-collar here? She’s working at a level 4 out of 100! That means she’s tuned in and ready to work.

So much of puppy training is about setting up a really nice foundation. That means building confidence, teaching them how to move with you, trying new things, and exposing them to the world around us. Daisy was pretty nervous with trying new things, so we took her to a park with lots of structures to explore, lots of smells to distract her, and lots of opportunities to make mistakes and try again. We used lures and love and praise to encourage her through anything that seemed hard, and we practiced it until it wasn’t a big deal for her anymore. Believe it or not, this is training and it’s going to set her up with such a nice foundation that will last a lifetime. Who said training had to be boring?!

Willow absolutely adores other dogs. The problem with that is, not all dogs adore her. She has a lot of energy and doesn’t know how to read their signals when they’ve had enough of her, and that’s led to other dogs correcting her. We don’t want that!

So we haven’t introduced her to Copper yet in the traditional sense. It’s not because I’m worried (I think they would actually love playing together). It’s because I need Willow to change how she sees other dogs. Right now she believes that every dog should be her buddy and she gets really amped up whenever she sees another dog. That’s a dog that you can’t trust out in public. Instead, I want her to become neutral around other dogs, and only go play with them when she gets permission from me. And we practice this by lots of place time around each other. Sometimes she’ll have to watch Copper play, sometimes Copper will have to watch her play, and sometimes they’ll just hang out together like this.

This changes the conversation entirely from Willow doing whatever she wants, to Willow developing impulse control and looking to me for direction. Once she masters this mindset, her world will open up so much!

Theo is all about escaping discomfort.

If he hears a loud noise, he tries to run away. If he’s feeling needy, he pushes into your arm for attention. If he’s in the crate, he wants out. If he’s out of the crate, he wants in.

He needs to not only understand that he can’t escape everything (it’s not a safe option!), but that I will keep him safe and help him through everything that is uncomfortable. Today, that means learning to relax in the crate with the door open. No bolting out, no running, no clinging to me for comfort. Simply learning how to get comfortable and relax in this moment.

This is no easy task. It takes time and patience to really work through these struggles. How often do we personally practice accepting things that make us uncomfortable and try to grow through them? It’s much easier for me to be on this side of the camera, that’s for sure.